My Youngest Sister

I have two little sisters. The youngest one is in kindergarten. She is always running around and being that little pain that will not stop talking. Of course, my instant reaction is to roll my eyes and pray she will shut up because I might be able to then hear myself think. She is a little daredevil that really is not afraid of getting hurt. She amazes me in how quickly she learns things on her own and will exceed the expectations you would normally put on a five year old. My youngest sister never stops asking questions or trying to get you to listen to her stories. She wants to tell you just about everything that happened during her day, every day. She never pauses when starting a conversation in which she expects you to obviously to join in on. She speaks out on what she sees and tells her opinions on everything. If she isn't talking, she is singing or maybe even just making random noises. Yeah, she never ceases to take a breath once she starts, but the more I think about her ongoing stories the more I wish I could still be that way. I overthink pretty much every single thing that pops into my mess of a mind. If I know the answer in class and my brain is just begging me to say it aloud, it rarely actually ever comes out. If I have a story about my day that I think is pretty dang interesting, it rarely gets told. If I have a song stuck in my head or hear one playing that I would really honestly love to just yell out the lyrics along with, you can forget about that happening if I see more than a couple people around. Don't get me wrong, I have quite an attitude that gets put into use often if needed to help get a point across I want to be made. I can defend myself, and nobody will run me over. When it comes to just putting myself out there and letting others hear what I really have to say is hard. I have always had the shy part of my personality to deal with in so many cases. If something is bothering me, I almost never get it out to someone who asks. Definitely never fully explain what it is and why. I feel a sense of pressure to say what someone wants to hear, instead of what I want to come out of my mouth. I lack confidence. I have known this for quite awhile. I have learned to put myself out there and jump in some cases, even when my insecure mindset points in the opposite direction. People laugh or look at you like you are missing something in your brain, but really when you speak out, rant, and tell stories from the simplest ones to the ones that make everyone stop and think, you are regaining that part of yourself and letting others see it. You stop overthinking for that moment and take a positive step forward. Difficult for me to put into action the majority of the time, but ultimately has me leaving with a smile afterwards. Basically, I want to be a five year old.