The Moment My Life Changed Forever

When I was 4 and a half years old in May I was told that 9 months later I would no longer be the only child. I was devastated at the idea of knowing that soon I would have to share EVERYTHING with another human who could potentially look like exactly like me, or worse, a sister. I prayed and prayed that it would be a brother. Why? Because with a brother I would not have to share ANYTHING! I would not be called by the wrong name, I would grow up and not have to worry about a girl taking my stuff being constantly told “share, she's your sister.” Little did I know that two months after the big news I was going to go beyond insane finding out that all my nightmares were slowly unfolding and becoming true. The worst words came one Friday afternoon when I had arrived from preschool, “IT'S A GIRL!!” My mom said. My life was over. Every dream was shattered, and all I could think was “I have to get rid of this girl.” I remember nearly panicking just at the idea of her changing my life forever. That was the one thing that I, to this day, can still agree on. The girl was born 9 months later and was named Jannelle. Several times I was caught trying to dump her in the trash can. It's okay, she was too fat for me to fully lift her up to the lid anyways. Nonetheless, with the amounts of family photos, I decided to give this human a a chance at life. She was 4 when I was 9. They ran tests on her and claimed she had a deformity in her cells and her body would deform as she grew older. That's when I knew, that little human was my blood, and she was all I had. I cried and prayed to the one above to help. It worked, call it whatever you want but I got what I wanted. She went back and her tests were cleared, she was going to be okay. At 16 she was 11. All of her life we've shared a room. Never once have we changed clothes in front of one another but one night she was too tired to leave to change and I was on my phone. She took off her shirt and I glanced. Looking at her from the back was equivalent to taking a hit in the gut. I felt like I couldn't breathe, the perfect little girl image shattered because her back was deformed. Instantly I remembered that time when she was 4. I became to blame myself, for being the oldest, for being the one she sleeps next to every night and never noticing, for not being more observant, for believing that truly everything washing to be okay. I grabbed her and walked her to my father. With tears in my eyes and a quivering voice I managed a whisper “Dad look” she turned and his facial expression showed how shocked he was. It was too much, we had never seen or heard of the word Scoliosis, a genetic disease that mainly targets young girls between their puberty age. Somehow she had gotten it, and it had advanced very quickly.  The doctors in Lenoir had no idea on how to help. They quickly transferred her to the Hospital in Winston Salem. Every day from then I could no longer sleep. “How is this possible? My sister, my best friend, my blood, and I never noticed her being in pain. What kind of human am I?” I cried to myself in my room, the bathroom, the shower, but every time I walked out, I made sure she'd see a smile on my face because she had to believe everything would be okay. At some point I said it so many times to her that it finally took to effect on the day that the doctors in Winston Salem said that the only option would be a Spinal Fusion surgery. By her next evaluation, her S-Shape curve had increased 5 degrees more than just the 60 she had. She had shrunk in height as well. The Doctor, Doctor Freno said that he had operated this surgery a couple times, never to a child that young though. However, we knew that, that's the only chance we had. He said that a regular person's recovery is 6 months to a year process, hers would have to be a year to a year and a half more do to her small fragile bones. In addition to that, it would be a week and a half in the hospital. An 8 hour long surgery gone as smoothly and successful as ever. All the agony, agitation, frustration, and anxiety all came to a stop when I got to see her again. She's a real trooper, cut her recovery down a year, and was back to learning to walk in 6weeks and in school by the 7th week. Was out of the hospital in 4 days. I was amazed at her and I asked “how, how do you manage to be so strong and stubborn, your will to walk again is far greater than any fear I've ever seen” and the 11 year old child she simply replied with “since I was born, I like to mirror you.” I wouldn't trade her for the world or dump her in anymore trash cans because that is the girl I trust with my heart and secrets, the one that I'll love forever and the one that will always be by my side like I was by hers in that hospital bed❤️️